Receiving

Today, I received the Holy Spirit. I mean the slain- in -the- spirit- can't- stand- up- can't- move kind of received. If someone would have told me that it would happen to me, I would have laughed in their face. God revealed himself to me and I am forever changed.

The service went a lot like last night but instead of ending, Frank made a side section where people could come and receive prayer. He asked that those who wanted to administer healing as well to come over with him. I had been praying this whole time that my heart and mind would be open to receiving the HS. I went forward to pray with people. I was mostly standing to the side unsure of what to do when Frank grabbed my hand. He said, "what do you want from God?" I simply said, "To receive." I wanted to receive the HS and not be a skeptic anymore. At that moment, I started weeping. Uncontrollable weeping. My stomach was heaving and my body felt heavy with the weight. As I fell to my knees, Frank said, "God says that you will never be the same again." I sat on the floor, unable to move, weeping. I have never wept like that before. My eyes would not open. My mind was very coherent, weirdly so. Here I was on the floor, weeping, and my mind is racing. "This is what the HS feels like. I can't believe this is happening to me. Thank you God for your spirit. I really can't stop weeping. I have to tell my friends about this." All of these thoughts were going through my head as I was glued to the floor, weeping.

I was finally able to pick myself up. For the rest of the night, anytime we were praying for people my stomach would clench up and I would begin weeping. I realized that in Acts, the crowd described the disciples as appearing drunk. I now understand why. After we had prayed for all those that sought prayer, we were overcome with laughter. I mean, I like to laugh. If you know me at all, you know that if I get the giggles, I am unable to stop. This time I was merely standing sorta laughing to myself. The youth were "passing around the spirit" as in, the would stand in front of one another and say 'fire' and immediately the person would fall to the floor. I stood in front of someone and said the word 'fire' and I literally could not stand up I was laughing so hard. I laid on the floor for a long time just giggling.

Then Frank spoke to me again. He told me a prophetic word. He told me the things that the Lord spoke to him as he laid hands on me. God is doing something in my life. I don't know what it is but I'm open. After this weekend, I am no longer a skeptic. I have felt the HS in my body. I don't know what this all means for my future. If you know me, you know that this is nothing like me. But seeing God work has changed my life. I will never be the same and I don't know that I want to be.