I don't get it.

A place to live....check
Amy being employed...check
Boyfriends for Amy and I....no check

Let's unpack that for a minute. Amy and I are great women. Amy can cook, bake, paint, knit, crochet, sew, massage, clean, and talk. What more could you want? I can cook (when I have a recipe and time), bake (same as before), crochet hats and scarves, be laid back, and majorly awesome. What is the dilly yo? We are both single. And continue to be for long periods of time. If I were a man, I would date me and Amy! If I were a lesbian, (rest assured Mother, I am not) we would totally be hot commodities.

But we are both straight. Terribly straight. And single. (Did I mention that we were single?)

Anyway, if you have brothers, cousins, nephews, or know single fathers all of whom are over the age of 23 and under 50, then please, give them our numbers.

PS. our new address is 915 Orient Street. We move this weekend!

We almost had a tragedy this morning. Fire. Turning on the wrong burner almost had huge repercussions. We caught two oven mitts and a roll of parchment paper on fire. I woke up to the sounds of the fire alarm blaring. No worries, we got it out before it caught anything else on fire but our apartment smells like burnt plastic. Good thing we have to be out by next weekend.

Speaking of, I am the only one of three roommates who is currently employed. Our third roommate lost her job yesterday. Both roommates have jobs secured in massage therapy but cannot begin until the appropriate paperwork comes from the state. Not very excited about the prospect of possibly not getting this house because of that. We will be homeless if we don't figure something out. Not a good time to be unemployed.

I am stuck.

My experience does not allow me to leave it all behind but I don't know how to move forward. I am paralyzed, unable to move. If I go back, I know that life cannot be the same. If I move forward, I don't know what it looks like. My feet are stuck. I'm lost right now. Wandering through this dense forest with a small light to shine ahead. The light is growing dimmer and dimmer. I know I am not traditional. I never have been. I cannot see my gifts right now. I am not failing but I am not excelling anywhere. I'm stuck. I am overwhelmed by vocation. I feel like I'm going to be wandering forever.

I am stuck.

Oh geez

My life is a little out of control right now. I'm starting my checklist and you are welcome to follow along.

Pack and Move by Nov 1st.
Write a 1500 word essay about my vocational journey and time at div school by Oct 27.
Write a 1500 word personal statement essay.
Take the GRE before January 15.
12-15 pg paper due Nov 11 over How church reconciles God as good in a world filled with evil.
15-17 pg paper due Nov 18, Greek exegesis of John 10
5-7 pg paper due Nov 13 about the institution of the wedding industry in America and our role as Christians
Mixed in there are about 3 books that have to be read.

Freaking out a little bit.